Have De-Dreadlocked the bunny. He has been looking more and more like a malevolent tramp squatting in the garden. Managed to grab and perform perfunctory haircut before he knew what hit him. Following this assault he hopped off, in a huff, to hide under the shed in order to recover his equilibrium – had to sympathise as have often felt the same after an unsuccessful trip to the hairdressers.
Would have been a good idea however to have got rid of the evidence: returned to discover that Oppressed Husband, clearly unwillingly and against every finer feeling, was being forced by the children to officiate at some sort of memorial service. Having found the bunny clippings (some particularly large hanks of matted fur) dotted around the lawn they had drawn their own conclusions.
Mr Fox was chief suspect and in the absence of habeas corpus they were conducting a tear-stained and emotional ceremony, with readings and prayers for the soul of Fluffy – who, had they just looked, could be seen, balefully regarding their antics, from under a gooseberry bush.
You would have thought they would be pleased when this error was made known to them but unaccountably they all seemed very annoyed – Husband stomped off to hide in the study muttering obscenities under his breath, Nearly teenage Daughter was furious to be cut off mid flow of emotional outpouring , apparently she had only got to read three of her soulful and heartfelt poetic offerings. The Silly Brothers had armed themselves and drawn up detailed plans to avenge the murder of Fluffy with ‘eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth’ barbarity and were most put out to have to curtail these blood thirsty intentions. But I suspect we will feel the displeasure of Smallest Daughter for some time to come. She had already planned the arrival of lovely new guinea pigs to make her feel better – unwisely already promised by a Hassled and Harried Daddy. These new pets have now been vetoed by Daddy, henceforth called That-Nasty-Daddy by Harriet, but I would not bet against her in the battle royal that is in the offing. She is going all out for two of the pet shops finest Peruvian exports and I give Oppressed Husband less than a week before he caves. He, of course, claims my lack of domestic tidiness is entirely to blame for the confusion and refuses to take any responsibility henceforth.