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Feel that I am existing in weird parallel to University life. Leaving a camera unattended turns out to have exactly the same negatives attached as it did back in the day of the College Bar. The Silly Brothers (current ages 6 and 8) have taken to furthering their career options in the direction of photography. In particular: close up shots of their own naked male anatomy. I was made aware of this new departure when downloading the camera at the photo booth in Boots. Unfortunately drew attention to my shock and horror at being confronted with the evidence of the boys activity by squeaking and trying to cover the large screen ineffectually with both hands whilst madly hitting the eject button with my knee.  Made a fast exit before it occurred to anyone in the shop to enforce the Obscenity Laws.

Bottoms featuring heavily this week. Was outraged when I came to use my new hay fever nose spray to make the discovery that it was both empty and rather redolent of POO. On investigation Silly brother number 2 claimed that the Beconase enema might have been his idea but he wasn’t the only one to have tried it. Apparently it had been a group activity when his friends had come to play! So then had the unenviable job of phoning the owners of all recently visiting small boys to give them the heads (or more appropriately bottoms) up on this delightful news! Luckily all most understanding and sympathetic: apparently bottom fixation is par for the course. One mother even confided that she had been woken by one of her small biologist’s more intimate investigations. Sleepily and rather irritably batting away what she thought was drunken and amorous attention from her husband, she had been horrified to discover that it was a much smaller blonder male that emerged from under the duvet.  He had been attempting to insert his big toe into her bottom with the intention of seeing what would happen. Which was, of course, instant ejection from the parental bed and a lock installed the very next day.

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