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Have averted very near miss on the total embarrassment front. Luckily spotted Number One Son in the rear view mirror pulling something familiar from his backpack and showing the contents, with whispers and giggles to Silly Brother number 2: What was he doing with my Bra and Pants? Turns out that the, rather fashionable, M&S, leopard print knickers were for show and tell! Apparently they have been discussing textile and fashion design through the ages at school and he thought that my underwear would make a good example of how people in ancient times used animal skins for clothing. Dear God the horror!

Much excitement caused at school by the spotting of a man with a gun in the woods. The whole school was locked down for the day whilst police searched the grounds but found nothing. Meanwhile the children had a lovely time with some poor unfortunate community officers who had been drafted in to keep the children happy and calm. Lots of chat about police stuff – mainly Handcuffs and truncheons and this is where Number 2 Silly Brother excelled himself.  He brightly exclaimed that his daddy had some of those handcuff things – he keeps them in his bedside drawer and mummy helps him get them on and off. Was only made aware of this gaffe when Ben insisted I tell his blushing teacher that – it was true wasn’t it –“daddy does have handcuffs in his sock drawer”. After a little thought, happily unaware at this point of the part that I allegedly played in this drama, I was able to correct Ben on the name of the articles in the sock drawer – Daddy’s cufflinks. Choking noises and muffled laughter were audible from behind the classroom door where several teachers where vainly trying to stifle their giggles – we are all very relieved that that has been cleared up or none of them would ever be able to look me in the eye at parents evening again.

Even the Dog has tried its best to join in with the general theme of massive embarrassment. He has developed a knicker fetish and likes nothing better than to find the ‘best’ ones from the laundry pile and carry them proudly off to his basket where they are hoarded as treasure alongside his disgusting bone and chewed teddy. He has been so far stopped from presenting his treasures to honoured visitors but it is only a matter of time before interception fails.

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